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Now that the National Association of Realtors commission settlement has been finalized, we’ve officially entered a brave new world in which communication is more important than ever. For the past year-plus — ever since the Halloween verdict came down in the Sitzer | Burnett trial — potential clients have been inundated with misinformation and confusing assertions about the way real estate commissions work now.
Because of this upheaval, sellers in particular may have a lot of questions about buyer’s agent representation and compensation. They may also be wondering what their options are in a market significantly impacted by interest rates and inventory levels.
Odds are, when reading the headline of this story, you either read it as “listing appointment” or you thought it was a typo … both would be incorrect. In my opinion, the listing appointment, if you wish to crush it, should be called a listening appointment for the simple reason that, if you talk more than the potential seller, you will most likely lose.
Listening is the key.
Here are 5 key strategies to help you keep your feet on the ground instead of in your mouth:
1. It’s not about you – skip the logical presentation
Hard to believe, but the seller does not care how great you are or how comprehensive your listing plan is. They really want you to connect with them emotionally and hear and understand their goals, dreams and fears.
The problem with many agents is that they want to confront the seller with logic and state how they alone are best prepared, have sold the most homes in the area and are therefore the logical choice to sell their home. That approach, unfortunately, does not work.
In their book, The Full Fee Agent, Chris Voss and Steve Shull declare that selling a home is an emotional decision, not a logical one. They state, “You cannot overcome emotion with fact, logic and reason.”
There is a second factor here as well: in a 2020 article I wrote for Inman I stated, “Somewhere along the line, our society has transitioned from being service-based to commodity-based. With service no longer anticipated in most areas of our lives, we focus on securing commodities in its place.
If we can reduce anything we want to a basic commodity, then regardless of what it is (an appliance, a phone or even a car), the natural progression focuses on getting it at the lowest possible price.
In a commodity-based world, sellers now search for real estate agents who will sell their house for the lowest possible commission. I frequently hear during listing presentations, “You guys are all the same. You provide the same things as everyone else I’ve talked to — why should I choose you?”
As a result, if a seller is already viewing you as a commodity, then any list of features you provide in a logical format that touts how great you are will more than likely fall on deaf ears, since every other agent walking through the front door essentially has the same list.
2. Begin with questions
You want to know about them and why they are selling — their motivations, dreams, concerns and fears.
We recently had a listing appointment where four children, all in their 50s and 60s, were selling their family home after the recent death of their father, the last remaining spouse. After touring the property, we sat down in the family room and said, “Tell us about your father.”
That began a time of reminiscing and storytelling that not only lasted a while, but it gave us valuable keys to their love for their parents and the memories they had all created growing up in this home. As they concluded their thoughts, we simply said, “We will honor the memory of your dad in selling this home and strive to get you the highest price and best terms possible. What questions do you have for us?”
3. Focus on connecting
The goal of the listening appointment is to connect emotionally. There are two fundamental keys that will help establish rapport.
First, when listening to them, echo back what they are saying. Voss and Shull call it “labeling” and write, “Labeling is stating what the other person is thinking, feeling, or doing – putting a label on it.”
A label starts with one of the following phrases:
- It sounds like …
- It seems like …
- It feels like …
- You’re probably thinking …
- You’re probably feeling …
They continue, “It ends with your best guess about what they’re actually thinking and feeling. You want to get inside the other person’s head and heart, to see the world from their perspective. That requires deep listening.”
Second is mirroring: you repeat the last few words a person said. This communicates that you heard them and opens the door for them to go deeper. It removes the focus from what you might want to say and puts the conversation firmly in their court. If the focus is on you and how great you are, you will lose: keep them engaged by using these two tools.
4. Let them lead
The desire to take control of any situation we find ourselves in is a core human characteristic, and, if you allow that urge to take over, you stand a good chance of losing. The goal is for the potential client to feel like they are in control all the way through your time together.
As Voss and Shull clarify, “If you are explaining, you are losing.” They further write, “It’s impossible for you to help them until they trust you, and you build trust by listening, not talking.” If, in fact, you are formulating your next sentence while they are talking, you are not actually listening.
Once you feel that connection has been made, you can then transition the conversation to questions they may have for you. Resist the urge to pull out your prepared presentation and start downloading your attributes.
In the case of the family mentioned above, they simply needed to know that our services were at least on par with what other local agents provided. Once we opened the door for questions, they asked a few probing questions – we did not need to go over all the services we provide in detail and, in reality, we always provide a menu of services so they can see everything we will do to sell their home.
5. Follow up with activities based on their conversation
The family of four siblings had made it clear that they would be interviewing other agents, and we knew that we would alienate them by trying a hard close. As a result, we thanked them for the time, promised we would stay in touch, left our collateral and headed out.
Standing on the curb, our lead listing agent and I had a quick chat before driving away. During the reminiscing, the brothers and sisters all agreed that one of their favorite memories growing up was the tacos their dad bought from a local taqueria.
Since it was close to lunchtime, our listing agent headed over to that specific taqueria to snag a dozen tacos and then took them back to the house. The four were standing in the garage when she arrived back at the house and, looking at the tacos in her hand, looked at each other and then one of them stated, “We won’t be interviewing anyone else; send us the paperwork.”
We are hardwired to conquer, so we want to get in and dominate a presentation so we can win. Truth is, this approach will do more to alienate than to secure the listing.
Final words of advice from Voss and Shull are, “Talking is for chasing and convincing. Listening is for building trust. The way you listen has much more impact than anything you say or do.”
